Harmony Between the Smallness & the Grandiose

Who would want to hear what I have to say or wisdom or creativity I have to share?...

...obviously, I’ve learned it from somewhere, so someone else knows it, why repeat what is already known? The flamboyant & excessive aren’t the only side of the ego, it’s the extroverted side that we plainly see, but the diminutive & unconfident is the side of the ego that is lesser known as ego. Both are the extremes of the same place, so where do we go to find the middle ground? Although I’m a teacher, facilitator & have a life of service with the public, I still receive the feelings of smallness. Not often anymore, but at times. The questions that niggle me mostly are the ones above. A lot of my life has been the phrase, Feel the Fear & Do It Anyway, & with a hefty dose of anxiety, the way was forged. A bit later in life, the question that helped some of the anxiety was, would I regret it if I didn’t? A lot of healing has been done, books read, therapies attended, but the things that helped me mostly were energy healing & plant ceremony. From the FTF&DIA attitude, I knew I could do things, but how to help the anxiety to take a step back? How to find the harmony in the diminutive ego? To be honest, I can’t say exactly when the anxiety healthily formed to be what anxiety is meant to be, something telling someone that something isn’t quite right, that there is a bit off centre, an intuition, but I do know a shift began when I worked with energy healing & then plant medicine. A lot! They helped immensely & I’ve worked with these two forms of energy for 21 years. Also, one day I was phoned & asked if I would like to teach Indian Head Massage to adult learners & I said yes! Attending the course to receive a teaching certificate helped to lessen the nerves of standing in front of a classroom to share knowledge. All of the students were in the same boat, standing in front of each other to teach via the template we had been given, as individuals & in small groups, it was amazing & confidence grew in us all over the time of the course. I also had to teach a class of adults wanting to learn Indian Head Massage during the time I was learning “how to teach” & that was fun - it was! -and the people who were there wanted to learn. Yet, the smallness invades every now & then. Where does that come from? Which spark decides to set off this flame that still persists when I’m blindsided? I’ve been reading more about soul retrieval & although I have clients who receive this nourishing guidance from spirit through me, I have a feeling part of me is still hiding, but wanting to be found. Soon I’ll be seeing someone for this connection & my intention is to help my soul integrate, to feel safe to return from whenever she felt that she needed to break away. Our energy frequencies are all unique & when we combine with Spirit & the person(s) who seeks us out or who we seek, our energies are even more unique together, because we all contribute to the best of everyone who is present. This is why the wisdom, information & creativity I have to share is wanted, because the people who come to me will receive something different than the same information given by someone else. I am also continually learning, there is always, so much more to connect with, because when I change with the energies & knowledge that I learn, my frequency changes too & what seeks me is what I want to share with those who are also wanting to create a space within themselves for nourishing growth, a frequency of raising wisdom & health on all levels. Be you, be bold in the frequency of you. Hatun Munay (Great Love) & Wunjo! (Joy!), Darci /|\